Why Bush needs bin Laden

George W. Bush is having a hard time adjusting to the fact that he no longer has an automatic rubber-stamp Congress at his beck and call. And, while the Republican minority in Congress has still been winning some unfortunate battles, and the Democrats haven't done enough to fight back, it's not quite as easy for Bush as it was before this past January.

So Bush gave a speech on November 1 so he could whine about it. He said, "When it comes to funding our troops, some in Washington should spend more time responding to the warnings of terrorists like Osama bin Laden and the requests of our commanders on the ground, and less time responding to the demands of MoveOn.org bloggers and Code Pink protesters."

See that? He said that we should heed the warnings of Osama bin Laden.

But wait a minute! On March 13, 2002, that same George W. Bush, when asked about our pursuit of bin Laden, said, "I don't know where he is. You know, I just don't spend that much time on him."

We should worry about bin Laden, but Bush doesn't spend that much time on him.

This is the same George W. Bush who ran for reelection on the claim that only he could keep us safe from the terrorists. And, even more disturbing, this is the same George W. Bush who was successfully reelected on that claim.

But, while it seems like a contradiction, I think it's really just all part of a well-thought-out strategy.

And my theory appears to be confirmed by recent reports that we may have had an opportunity to kill bin Laden this past August, but we failed. We had him in our sights, but nobody pulled the trigger. Even Fox News criticized that missed opportunity.

We're just not spending that much time on him.

I think we don't really want to kill bin Laden, because Bush needs him.

Bin Laden is the face of al-Qaeda. And as long as al-Qaeda has a face, Bush can keep us -- and Congress -- scared and compliant.

As long as al-Qaeda has a face, Bush can continue his unwinnable war in Iraq, keep life a living hell for the innocent civilians there, and never have to admit that it was a mistake.

As long as al-Qaeda has a face, Bush can continue to shred our Constitution, kill habeas corpus, torture people, and spy on you and your grandmother without a court warrant.

As long as al-Qaeda has a face, Bush can continue to tell you that it's all for your own good.

As long as al-Qaeda has a face, and as long as Congress has neither a conscience nor a backbone, Bush can continue to do this with impunity for another 14 months.

And bin Laden is obviously more than happy to comply, popping up from time to time in a video to taunt us with his equivalent of neener-neener-neener.

It's a match made in heaven. Or in hell.

And America let it happen, because America was scared. Because Bush has bin Laden.