02 March 2011

Why I won't remarry anytime soon

Some of my friends encourage me to remarry. Most of them are happily married, and they want the same for me. While I appreciate their caring, and while I certainly would like to marry again if I find the right kind of man, I don't see it happening anytime soon. That is because it wouldn't feel right to me to marry here in the Commonwealth of Pennsylvania while my gay and lesbian friends do not enjoy the same option.

I first got the idea from actress Charlize Theron, who expressed that view some years ago. And more and more people seem to be adopting that stance. Recently, singer-songwriter Jason Mraz announced that he and his fiancee will not marry until gay and lesbian Americans can do the same.

How could I not feel the same way?

For me to remarry now would feel selfish and self-centered.

It would feel like an in-your-face "nyah-nyah-nyah" to my fellow Pennsylvanians who are not free to marry the person they love.

It would feel like I was exploiting my status as a first-class citizen (read: heterosexual) while my gay and lesbian friends retain second-class status.

And I just couldn't live with that.

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