Cindy Sheehan guilty of committing first-degree, premeditated citizenship

From Daniel Ruth's column in yesterday's Tampa Tribune:
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This may come as something of a shock to some of those yahoos down in Crawford, Texas, who are so upset with antiwar Gold Star mother Cindy Sheehan's vigil outside the president's Godforsaken ranch, but if they were to look real close they'd discover she is committing first-degree, premeditated citizenship.

You see, we have this nagging, irritating, troublesome document called the U.S. Constitution. It's all the rage - or at least those dead bodies in Arlington National Cemetery thought so.

There, right at the top of the Constitution, there's this thing called the First Amendment.

Stop Drooling And Read

And if some of you goobers who have been shooting shotguns in the air to intimidate Sheehan and trampling white crosses in the ground honoring the dead troops who have sacrificed their lives for George W. Bush's war in Iraq could stop drooling for just a moment, here's what the First Amendment states:

"Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the FREEDOM OF SPEECH, or of the press; or the RIGHT OF PEOPLE PEACEABLY TO ASSEMBLE, AND TO PETITION THE GOVERNMENT FOR A REDRESS OF GRIEVANCES."

Sheehan has a grievance - her son Casey died in Bush's war and thus she has petitioned the Clausewitz of Skull and Bones to explain why, especially since the administration's alibis for invading Iraq turned out to be more bogus than Burt Reynolds' hair, more than 1,800 American families had to lose a loved one.

Alas, the MacArthur of Arbusto has been busy, busy, busy on his vacation, riding his bike with Lance Armstrong, attending chi-chi big-ticket fundraisers with silk-stocking GOP types and chopping brush.

We're talking way big fun.

At any rate, with that kind of breakneck pace of relaxation, the Wellington of Waco simply has been unable to find a few moments to spend with a grieving mother.

Great Country

The problem, obviously, in meeting with Sheehan is that the Commander-In-Sleep might possibly be exposed to someone who disagrees with his policies, an occurrence even more rare with this president than a Texas Air National Guard flight physical.

Irony abounds.
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